The Pink Palace Read online

  James passed me the drink and I tasted it. Whoa! It was like fire in my chest. I started to cough.

  “Take it slow . . . this ain’t Kool-Aid. You know, the older you get, the more you look like Tina,” James said to me. I took another puff of the blunt and passed it back to him.

  We spent the next two hours watching New Jack City in silence. Somewhere between Pookie getting high and Nino Brown getting shot, I passed out.

  I was so fucking high and drunk that night that I didn’t remember a thing when I woke up in bed the next morning, but something didn’t feel right. I was naked and under my covers, but I didn’t remember getting up and going to bed. My pussy felt beat up and sore like I had been having sex all night. Then it hit me like a brick: a flash of memory that became increasingly detailed the more I thought about it. I remembered being on my back and staring at the ceiling while something heavy lay on me.

  I sat up in my bed and saw my clothes on the ground. I remembered someone undressing me, but I couldn’t see a face. “Oh my God . . .” I said out loud as I remembered a voice saying, You want it, you want it. Then I saw James’ face.

  I started to cry, and then I jumped up and grabbed some clothes and put them on. I ran out of my bedroom and ran into James in the hallway.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he coldly said to me.

  “Don’t fucking touch me!” I yelled as I tried to hit him.

  He grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall.

  “You raped me! You fucking bastard!” I yelled, out of control.

  “Shut the fuck up! Ain’t nothing happened,” he said calmly.

  “You raped me! I fucking hate you!”

  James put his hand over my mouth and pushed my head up against the wall. “The only thing anybody is gonna believe is that you came home drunk and high last night with that pretty boy in the BMW. There ain’t no proof of me doing shit to you,” he said. It took a minute for what he said to hit me. “I’m a cop, Janelle, and you’re an under-age girl drinking and smoking weed. Who do you think people are gonna believe?” He slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

  Tears rolled down my face as I realized that he was right. Nobody would believe me.

  “If you think about telling anybody about what you think happened last night . . . that would be a very bad decision,” James said as he pulled his Glock from under his waist. “Now, just calm down and go back to your room.”

  What the hell was I gonna do then? He wasn’t just a guy; he was a fucking cop, for God’s sake. He could actually kill me and get away with it.

  I slowly walked back to my room and closed my door. I crawled into my bed and began to sob. I felt so dirty and violated. I would have never imagined James would do anything like that to me.

  I didn’t go to school that day. I didn’t even get out of bed. The next morning, I was still in shock about what had happened. More and more memories of what James did to me came back. He had a fucking field day, putting me in different positions and shit. Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? That was the moment I decided there was no God. I know that I wasn’t no Christian, but I didn’t deserve that.

  I got up, got dressed for school, and walked into the kitchen. I saw Tony sitting at the table, eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

  “You feeling better?” Tony asked me.

  “What?” I responded, clueless as to what he was talking about.

  “Pop said you were sick.”

  “He did?”

  “Yeah, he said you were going through some female shit,” Tony said as he took another spoonful of cereal. He had no idea what had happened. Would he have believed me if I told him? Would he believe his father, the cop, was a rapist?

  Before I could say another word, James walked into the kitchen, dressed in his uniform. He stared at me coldly, making my skin crawl.

  “Do y’all need a ride to school?” he asked us.

  “No,” I quickly said.

  “Naw, I’m good, Dad. I’m riding with Lamar,” Tony answered.

  “Nadia is picking me up,” I said.

  A few minutes later, Nadia pulled up to the house and honked her horn. “I gotta go,” I said, relieved to get the hell outta there.

  “Be safe, Janelle,” James said. His eyes told me exactly what he meant. I quickly walked out the door and to Nadia’s car.

  “Hey, what’s up, girl?” Nadia said to me.

  “Nothing. Let’s go.”

  “Are you okay? If you’re still sick, you should stay home.”

  “No! Can we just go?” I barked angrily.

  “Damn, all right. Since when do you wanna get to school so bad?” Nadia said as she pulled off. “How did things go with Steven Sunday night?”

  “Fine.”

  “That’s it?”

  “Yeah, that’s it,” I said sharply. I didn’t wanna remember anything that happened to me that night, much less talk about it.

  That whole day at school was a blur. I basically just showed up for class and said nothing. I skipped dance practice and went home and locked myself in my bedroom before James got home from work. All I could think about was how this could be happening to me. I was scared in my own home.

  For the next few days, I avoided James as much as I could and locked my door at night. It was the only place I felt safe, until one night I felt somebody in the room and I woke up and saw James standing over me.

  “What the hell are you doing in here? How did you get in my room?” I said, startled.

  “You think I couldn’t get in here anytime I wanted?”

  “What do you want?” I asked him, scared to death.

  “You know what I want, and you’re gonna give it to me,” he said to me calmly. He pulled his dick out of his pants and held it in his hands.

  “I’m not doing shit with you!” I yelled.

  “You thought this was over? You’re the lady of the house now, and I’m the man, so it’s your job to take care of me,” he said as if it were a perfectly normal thing.

  “You’re fucking crazy!” I shouted.

  James grabbed me by the back of my hair and pulled. “Listen to me, you little bitch. This is the way it is from now on. Anytime I want anything from you, it’s mine. I’ve been taking care of you since you were eleven years old, and now it’s time for you to take care of me.” James shoved my face in his crotch and pushed his dick on my lips.

  “Do it. Now!” he demanded.

  He was going to kill me and there was nothing I could do to stop it, so I did as he said. I put it in my mouth, and James grabbed my head and shoved it down my throat. I almost choked as he violated me. I sucked his dick for about ten minutes before he pulled it out of my mouth and tucked it back in his underwear. I was numb and couldn’t believe what I had just done. James smiled and walked to the door.

  “That was good, Janelle, but we’re gonna have to work on your technique. Your teeth scraped a little too much for me to enjoy it right,” he said as he walked out of my room and closed the door.

  I threw up on the floor then curled up on the ground and cried. It wasn’t gonna stop. He was gonna keep on coming back and doing this to me. I had no other family to turn to. I couldn’t stay there anymore, so I packed my backpack full of clothes and I left that next morning. That was the last time I was home.

  I had bounced around Atlanta for eight months trying to survive the best way I could. I celebrated my seventeenth birthday in a shelter for women. I wasn’t going to turn myself in to a foster care program and have them asking me questions about why I ran away from home.

  Nadia’s mom let me stay with her for a while without asking me too many questions. It’s like they knew something was wrong but never pressured me to tell them what.

  I was lucky enough to finish my junior year of high school before I dropped out. The funny thing is, James never reported me as missing, so none of my teachers asked me any questions.

  I got me a little job at Taco Bell. It didn’t
pay much, but it kept me alive. I found my Aunt Gene’s house down in Morrow and stayed with her for about six months. Aunt Gene was 77 years old and living by herself. She was so happy to have the company that she never asked why a 17-year-old girl was moving in with her. Plus, she was a little senile, so that helped me a bit.

  Like everything else in my life that had gone sour, that went wrong too. Aunt Gene’s nephew down in Valdosta wanted her to move in with him and his wife. They offered to take me, but I wasn’t trying to move to the country.

  I was planning on moving to a little apartment and working every day at Taco Bell to pay the rent. Even doing that, I still wouldn’t be able to pay any utility bills, but then the unexpected occurred.

  “Come in, child! How are you?” I heard Aunt Gene say to someone at the front door. I wondered who she could have been talking to. God, I hoped she wasn’t letting in another stranger or Jehovah’s Witness! I went to go see who it was.

  “I’m doing good, Auntie Gene. I just came by to check on you,” I heard a female voice say. Who was calling her Auntie Gene? I walked into the living room and saw my cousin.

  “Nikki!” I said, shocked. I hadn’t seen her in like six years and she looked gorgeous. She was wearing a Dolce & Gabbana miniskirt with a matching shirt. She looked like a supermodel. Even her long black weave was on point.

  “Janelle? Oh my God . . . girl, look at you!” Nikki said, surprised.

  “Naw, look at you. Looking all high-fashion,” I replied as she hugged me.

  “Oh, I just grabbed this out of my closet. Dang, Janelle, I haven’t seen you in years. You certainly filled out,” Nikki remarked as she looked me up and down.

  “I’m so glad you came by, darling. I’ve been so worried about you out in these streets,” Aunt Gene said to her.

  “I told you, Auntie Gene, I’m a big girl, and I’m doing fine by myself,” Nikki said.

  “I know, but I still worry about you.”

  The last I heard from Nikki, she had left home at 16 after her parents got divorced. Nikki and her mom were bumping heads so much that she had to call the police on her before she dipped. I could see that she had been doing fine. Her outfit must have cost her at least $1,000.

  Aunt Gene cooked us up some fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and some collard greens. That’s the one thing I loved about staying with her: I got to eat home-cooked meals again.

  After dinner, Nikki gave Aunt Gene what looked like a grand in cash. We then left in her cherry red Mercedes.

  “So what happened, Janelle?” Nikki asked me.

  “Nothing much.”

  Nikki looked at me and asked again. “What happened at home, Janelle? Why are you staying with Auntie Gene here in Morrow instead of with James and Tony in Bankhead?”

  It was as if she knew something bad had happened. I couldn’t answer her.

  “It’s okay to talk to me, Janelle. Trust me, there ain’t nothing you can say that would shock me,” Nikki reassured me. Tears started to pool up in my eyes. Nikki pulled the car over and parked.

  “It’s okay, baby . . . just tell me,” Nikki said as she wiped my tears. “James did something to you, didn’t he?” she guessed. At that point, I completely broke down and cried.

  “How did you know?” I asked her.

  “Trust me, Janelle, I know the signs. I done seen it happen to so many other girls. Did he hurt you?”

  I tried to hold back my tears. “I’m so stupid . . . I shouldn’t have let it happen!” I yelled.

  “Don’t you dare blame yourself for what he did to you!” Nikki said firmly.

  “You don’t understand . . . I got high . . . and drunk.”

  “And he took advantage of you. It’s okay, Janelle. We can call the cops on his ass,” Nikki said.

  “No!” I blurted out frantically. “You can’t! He’s a cop, Nikki. He’ll kill me.”

  “Girl, he just said that to keep you from telling anybody.”

  “Nikki, please, I just wanna forget it happened,” I begged her.

  “Janelle, you cannot let him—”

  “Nikki, please! Just let it go, please?”

  Nikki looked at me and took a deep breath. Then she nodded her head and hugged me. She spent the next 20 minutes consoling me in the car.

  Over the next few days, I started to hang out with Nikki more. She took me under her wing and bought me some new clothes. I swear she spent more money on me than anybody ever has. Gucci bags, Prada shoes, bags full of Baby Phat clothes. It made me wonder how she could she afford all that. She didn’t exactly go to work every day and punch a clock.

  We were eating lunch at California Pizza Kitchen in Lenox Mall when I decided to ask her. “Nikki, thank you. I mean, nobody has ever treated me like this.”

  “Janelle, you’re family, and you deserve to be spoiled after what you went through,” Nikki replied.

  “But you’ve been spending a lot of money.”

  “Girl, money ain’t a thing.”

  “How come?” I asked.

  Nikki looked at me, and then took another mouthful of her Jamaican Jerk chicken pizza.

  “Nikki, come on. I know you don’t got a regular job. You said you were in the entertainment field, but I know there’s more to it.”

  “I told Auntie Gene the entertainment field ’cause she wouldn’t understand. I’m a dancer, Janelle.”

  “You mean a stripper,” I said bluntly.

  Nikki smiled. “That’s right. I make more money in one night than most people make in a month.”

  “Damn, you don’t even look like a stripper. How long have you been doing it?”

  “For a month now. Janelle, I’m gonna be real with you. Auntie Gene is moving to Valdosta. You working at Taco Bell ain’t gonna cut it, so what’s your game plan?”

  “I’m just gonna do what I gotta do.”

  “Janelle, I ain’t trying to hate on you, but I gotta be honest. You’re a high school dropout working at Taco Bell. How long do you think you’re gonna last out here?”

  I didn’t know what to say at that point.

  “Look, Janelle, you look fucking sexy as hell, and you can dance your ass off. You can make some serious money.”

  I had to admit, Nikki was making a whole lot of sense. I did need to make some money.

  “All I have to do is dance?”

  “If that’s all you wanna do. Listen, these niggas in the clubs ain’t nothing but some tricks. They might wanna call you a bitch or a ho, but they spend they whole paycheck on you and get nothing but a hard-on at the end of the night. The only time I mess with any nigga is when he’s ballin’. All the money I spent on you this weekend? I’m gonna make it all back tonight,” Nikki said.

  “All right, I don’t care what I have to do. I need some money.”

  Later that night Nikki took me to The Pink Palace in midtown Atlanta. I saw why they called it The Pink Palace. Other than the huge, pink neon sign outside, it had plush, pink leather couches and chrome interiors that made me felt like I was in a music video. This was not the kind of place I had envisioned a strip club to be. The place was packed with ballers and shot callers and girls that looked like models.

  I watched as the dancers did their thing on stage. Most of them popped, jiggled, and rolled as niggas emptied they pockets. If that’s all it took, I knew I could make a lot of money up in there. The DJ was bumpin’ and Hpnotiq was flowing.

  When Nikki got on stage in her baby-doll lingerie, the men went crazy! She swung around the stage’s chrome pole like an Olympic athlete, slowly undressing herself. Niggas were pushing twenties and fifties in between her pink G-string. She was hustling these niggas like a pro! If she could do this, so could I.

  After Nikki’s routine ended, she came and took me backstage. She took out her money and counted it. She had made $380 from one dance.

  “So, what do you think? You ready to make this money?” Nikki asked me.

  “Yeah, I’m down to get this money, fo’sho.”

  “So, w
hat’s your stage name gonna be?”

  I thought about it for a second and then it came to me. “Mo’Nique, my middle name,” I told her.

  “Sounds good. Just remember every nigga in here is a trick. Don’t let yourself get caught up. Only tricks with cash can get some ass. You feel me?” Nikki said to me seriously.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  The next day, I moved in with Nikki and her homegirl, Penny, who was a dancer at The Pink Palace They lived in a four-bedroom house in Morrow. Penny was nice. She was the only girl Nikki was really cool with at the club. For the first time in a long time I felt at home.

  My first night dancing at the club my heart was racing out of control. Nikki gave me a glass of vodka to calm me down. All the other girls stared at me and whispered things to each other. I knew I intimidated them with my looks. I had on a sheer black thong and lace bra that Nikki had bought me from Victoria’s Secret.

  “How do you feel?” Nikki asked.

  “Nervous as hell.”

  “Don’t be. Just go out there and do your thing. You’ll be fine.”

  The DJ started to play R. Kelly’s “Feelin’ on Yo Booty” as I slowly walked on stage. I can do this shit, I thought to myself. I was a better dancer than any of the girls in there. I had never been naked in front of a room filled with horny-ass men, but there was no turning back now.

  I slowly started to grind my waist to the beat, making eye contact with as many men as possible. I could tell that they were in awe of my body. Some men stared with their mouths open.

  I dipped down low at the edge of the stage and parted my thighs, giving this one guy a closer view of the fat pussy lips peeking through my thong. He touched me softly and pushed a twenty between my panty straps.

  I tried to remember how Nikki had worked the stage the other night, and I did the same thing. I turned around and unclasped my bra, letting it drop to the floor while I covered my breasts with my other hand. I seductively revealed myself to the horny crowd as they threw tens, twenties, and fifties onstage. I rubbed my tits and allowed another guy to fondle them as he gave me a hundred dollar bill. I was on my hands and knees, still grinding to the song as I crawled the stage like a black panther. This was a dance I used to do in school, but never half-naked.